Today our little Bro-Bro is two months old! I thought it was about time I shared my thoughts on our adoption process. These were the journal entries I wrote as we were progressing, starting with the first meeting with Brody's birthparents. I decided to post it all in one place for easy archiving, so please bare with this long post, as I bare my soul a little here.
{written Friday, March 26, 2010}
Today was marked a potentially monumental day for our family.
We had lunch with one of Bethany's social workers along with a birthparent couple that chose our family after looking at some family portfolios. It was pretty exciting, just to be chosen, let alone to meet them.
The meeting went well. It wasn't awkward at all and we got along great with them. The birthfather is totally a baseball fan so that was fun. They each have some great goals and aspirations for themselves. Overall, they seemed to really like our family and expressed their interest in adoption.
They seem to have quite a bit of outside pressure against their choosing adoption which must be making their decision that much more difficult. It really does seem like adoption would be in the baby's best interest in this situation, but I simply cannot imagine the difficulty in making the final decision.
We're really trying to stay guarded and not get too emotionally attached since nothing is for sure yet. Her due date is April 16th, so we should know pretty soon what's going to happen. I must admit though, that thinking about having a little boy (!!) about a month before our nephew is born would sooo fun and such a blessing to the family.
Thankfully, it's all in the Lord's hands, and He knows what's best for all parties.
I love this verse that my friend Heidi recently posted on her blog (Heidi and her husband are picking up their son in Rwanda right now!):
"And the Lord answered me: 'Write the vision... For still the vision awaits it's appointed time; it hastens to the end- it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." Habakkuk 2:2-3
{written Monday, April 5, 2010}
Peace in the Waiting...
Since we met the birthparents, we've had ups and downs in our waiting. But through it all we've felt peace.
I was at the park with a friend, a week ago today {March 29th}, watching Gigi run around, "making friends" while playing with other kids' toys. I overheard a caretaker (either a very young mom, or more likely a babysitter) call out to a little boy... "Brody!"
That's our name.
Long before we were married, that was the boy name my husband liked. I loved the sound of it, so it's always been on the list of prospective baby names for us. My heart skipped a little, knowing that someone who was carrying a baby boy was considering us to be that baby's family. Will we have our Brody?
Just then, my phone rang, and sure enough, yes, it was the social worker calling.
My understanding friend took over on Gigi Patrol so I could chat.
It wasn't the best news for us. The social worker explained that the family pressure to parent is so strong. The birthfather's parents wants to raise the child, despite the birthparents' desire to make an adoption plan. The social worker is not sure what will happen now.
Then, a couple of days later, she called back.
The birthmom, sweet and soft-spoken, had lovingly stood up to her boyfriend's mom, expressing her (their) desire to choose adoption. The social worker told me she was surprised. Encouraged.
The birthparents still want to meet us again.
Her due date is in 11 days.
So we wait, and pray for God's will to be done for this little one.
{written Thursday, April 8, 2009}
I can't sleep. I can barely type.
Yesterday we got the call from our social worker that the birthmom had the baby!! Our potential, hopeful baby has been born! He's alive and healthy and in the hospital.
The little guy (!!) was born on April 6th. We don't have all the specifics yet, but we do know that the birthparents are still leaning towards adoption. That's what they've told people in the hospital that their plan is anyway.
He was born by C-section, and is being breast-fed. This of course brings up the question as to whether this will create more bonding between him and the birthmom, but as our social worker said to me, it's going to be hard enough for her already. So I guess my feeling is, it's better for the baby, and it's all in God's hands anyways.
If this is the baby for our family, He will work out all the details, and there are lots of details to work out.
I hope to hear again from our social worker this morning with more of those details, and hopefully a little more confirmation if this is actually going to happen, um, tomorrow. I do after all still need to go get some bottles, formula and little clothes that aren't pink (we have lots of pink stored up but only a handful of unisex items).
It's so crazy. I knew all along that it could very well be a very quick process, but it's so surreal to actually have these events unfolding.
I'm overwhelmed with gratitude and feel covered by prayer. Still trying to guard my heart, but that is getting harder by the hour.
{written Friday, April 9, 2010}
After talking to the social worker a few more times, it's {almost} official that we are picking up. our son. tomorrow. Wow. Still can't believe I just typed those words.
We are going to visit the birthparents and the baby in the hospital this afternoon, stay over at my bro and sis-in-law's place and then head back to the hospital tomorrow (Saturday) to sign papers and take him home.
I feel like there's no way to truly prepare for how emotional it's going to be.
I spent what felt like a boatload of money yesterday on some bottles, formula diapers and little boy clothes. I let Gigi pick out an outfit for her brother. I really love little boy clothes.
I'm really hoping we can find the missing box that has the unisex baby clothes we saved from Gigi's birth. They're in a *really safe place* apparently.
I'm anxious and excited and nervous.
We're going to meet our son today.
!!!
{written Saturday, April 10, 2010}
We met him.
It was amazing.
He is so tiny (even smaller than our little Gigi was). He's so precious.
Visiting the birthfamily in the hospital was a sweet time. They filled us in on the specifics and how things had been going and we talked a little bit about the plan.
The air was surprisingly light, and it definitely did not feel like it was only our second time meeting them. We have a connection. We've been praying for them so much, as have our close friends and family, that I feel that they are already apart of our little circle of life, if you will.
I feel such a love for their family, that I cannot even explain.
It was surreal.
~~~
I just realized that I never really put my thoughts down on "paper" after our meeting with them all at the hospital. But I think the truth is that it was much to hard to process, let alone describe right away. The experience was so unlike any other. The relationship we now have with another family is so unlike any other.
The morning we took Brody home from the hospital was, hands down, the most emotional experience of my life. In the lobby of the hospital, our family of three waited as we were about to become a family of four, receiving a most precious and undeserved gift.
Amidst an abundance of tears, the birthfamily said their goodbyes and each embraced us. Our birthmother hugged me tightly and then whispered, "Thank you," as the birthfather handed over their son to us.
Thank you? She said that to me? My heart melted for her.
I could barely reply through tears, "No, thank you."